Monday, April 1, 2013

Writing Anxiety


I am a professional writer.  My writings have been published hundreds of times in magazines; yet, I have anxiety about writing.  Not just my professional writing, where I have to please three audiences: the editor, their readership and my client (while also getting leads), but also blog writing (can you tell by the incessant posts) and in my screenwriting.

I force myself to sit at my computer while I don't write (or edit the same paragraph over and over).  I can sit for days at a time, taking breaks to pace the rooms of my house.   I don't let myself leave the house except to go down the street for soda, coffee or cigarettes which are all essential to my writing (if that were true, I'd have hundreds of novels in print).

For most of my life I have considered myself a writer, but I often wonder if it is really who I am "supposed" to be.  How good of a writer can one really be with writer's anxiety?  You can't sell screenplays that aren't finished, and you can't have a successful blog if all you have are drafts.

I create art without anxiety and I get lost in the time.  I'm a great editor (others').  Would it be the same if I were relying on it for my survival?

Instead of a therapist these days, I turn to the Internet for answers to life's dilemma's and stresses.  I search for others with similar situations to mine and see how they positively handle things and see if anything rings true for me.

This is what what I found today on the Internet:  writing anxieties live in the mind (I paraphrased, slightly).

I also found this blog about professional anxiety that helped boost me a bit.  

Now back to writing--professionally.