Juice Fast Day Three

Down 3.5 lbs!!  Woo Hoo!

Day three wasn't bad.  Seems that day 2 was the worst for me. If the first three days are the worst, then I'm cruising now.  I did have a mild headache off and off throughout the day.  I splurged on a Orange Mango juice from Jamba Juice. Not something I want to make a habit, but we were passing pizza shops (which smelled delicious) and other restaurants in Belmont Shores and I needed a pick me up (mentally and physically).

This isn't me--this body.  I struggled yesterday with my self image.  This is NEVER how I pictured myself.  I've battled with weight since my teens, but at this weight I feel so awful about myself.  My weight and my teeth.

Appearance.  Sure, people say it is the inside that counts, but when the outside is just so out of whack with the inside, the outside begins to overwhelm the inside.

Inside I am a confident, witty, outgoing (although a bit shy at first), and still a size 6.  Most days I think that girl is present, but days like yesterday, there is a voice or a force--the evil part of the mind--that reminds me what people are seeing is something very different.

This time around (weight wise) I have an added distraction--my teeth.  They are spreading apart and I am missing one in the front now.  Back when I had dental insurance my teeth needed serious work.  I didn't want 20 root canals and caps in my mouth and I couldn't find a dentist willing to give me dentures.  Now, that my teeth are in bad enough shape that dentists are willing to give me dentures (albeit reluctant), I can't afford the dental work.

So even when I forget that I am larger when I smile at people in public that evil reminder voice says, "hey, you are missing a tooth--don't smile," and then the contortions to hide the missing tooth begin.

Anyway, yesterday was a bad day for me in terms of how I felt emotionally about myself.  Perhaps it was the reality of the before pictures that I took on day one.  I will post them eventually, but not until I lose a little weight and can show some progress.  I never really understood people not posting before pictures, but I guess I can now.  A photo is very different than passing by a mirror.  Also, the clothes I chose to wear for the photo are very different than the clothes I would wear in public. Not that the clothes I wear in public hide the fact that I am larger, but they don't accentuate all the bumps and bulges.

Onto day four and feeling better about myself.